Gone Girl/Transcript
(Ivor is walking through a hall when he hears Jesse's name. Curious, he eavesdrops at the door.) Lukas: (offscreen) I'm kind of nervous about tonight with Jesse. Petra: (offscreen) Don't be! I'm sure this time it won't be so messy. Like with Eve. Lukas: (He shudders.) (offscreen) Ugh, I hope not. That was awful. I'm glad she's gone. Forever. Petra: (offscreen) Yeah, you did everyone a favor by getting rid of her. Lukas: (offscreen) I can't wait to knock Jesse off her feet with this! Petra: (offscreen) Oh, man, she won't know what hit her! Lukas: (offscreen) And before Jesse has the chance to catch her breath, I'm gonna whip out my axe and get to shredding! Petra: (offscreen) Oh my gosh, Jesse is going to die! Ivor: (He runs to Jesse's room, where she is swinging her sword.) Jesse! Lukas asked you out so he could kill you! Jesse: (She laughs.) Ivor, that's ridiculous! Lukas is the nicest guy I know. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Ivor: I will have you know, he has killed many a fly! Jesse: With those eyes? He could run a puppy mill and I'd still date him. Ivor: Jesse, I'm telling you! Tonight, Lukas is planning on killing you! Jesse: (She laughs again.) Ivor, you're hilarious! (She walks away.) (Time skip. Lukas and Jesse are in a clearing.) Lukas: I hope you like this. I picked this spot special for you. Jesse: Great. (She looks over.) Um... Why is there a hole there? Lukas: I dug it earlier. For you. (He goes over to sharpen his axe.) Jesse: Why are you sharpening that...? Lukas: It won't cut through anything if it's not sharp. Otherwise I'd just be hacking and hacking and hacking and- Jesse: I get it! Uh, how about I go back to get some blankets. (low voice) And the police! Lukas: Oh, no. Now that you're here, I'm not letting you leave. Jesse: (scared) You're not? Lukas: Of course not! I've been thinking about this moment since the day I laid eyes on you. (He starts finishing hish hole. Jesse grabs a tree branch and starts whacking him with it.) (pained) Was there a mosquito? Because I think you got him. Jesse: How dare you try to hurt me! Lukas: (pained) Says the girl who's beating me with a branch! Jesse: Ivor was right! You were going to chop me up with an axe and bury me in that hole! Lukas: What? No! I was gonna light a fire in the hole so we could eat out here! Jesse: But Ivor heard you talk about shredding with your axe! Lukas: Which is what musicians call a guitar! And when you play it, that's called shredding! Jesse: Oh. (She drops her branch.) So, Eve isn't dead? Lukas: No! She got a job as an actress, and she's acting like I don't exist. Jesse: Well, this is the most embarassing moment of my life. Can you ever forgive me? Lukas: Of course I can. (He hugs Jesse.) Ivor: (He starts running toward them.) (yelling) JESSE! I'LL SAVE Y- (He falls in the hole.) Petra: (She is running after Ivor.) (yelling) IVOR, STOP! THEY'RE JUST ON A DATE! (She falls in on top of Ivor.) Lukas: Well, I guess a body wound up in that hole after all. (He and Jesse laugh before helping them out. The episode ends with everyone going home.) Category:Fanon Episodes Category:Fanfiction Works Category:Fan Games